Today, I’m at an over the top type feeling of sadness. As I’ve witnessed first hand how crowded our ICU is getting. It is no longer 1:1 ratios, it’s 2:1. As I walked into work today, I grappled at the fact that maybe today was going to be the day... that Covid got me, or even worst, the one that I love, (let's just call him "guy"). He’s been getting shitty assignments, and as for myself, well, I’m exposed too, but not so much in the direct manner of working and going into the patients’ rooms. I was lucky enough to be a unit clerk today.
But it still didn’t stop me from seeing how much our nurses are continuously being exposed. Heck, even the "rule out" patients that I had recently could’ve tested as false negatives and possibly presenting as positives now on their CT chest results with the dreaded “groundglass” appearance. I guess this normally is with patients who present with lung CA, but is starting to be found consistently in covid patients. So we worked our way throughout the day in ICU.
It was tough seeing everyone so darn worn out. Seeing people fight over the most stupid and simple things. In the end, my guy changed out of his Covid clothes since the hospital had no extra scrubs to provide us. He then dropped me back off to my home. We talked about our day, and well, let’s just say we both agreed that we need more positivity in this world. Thankful for small moments of happiness. Always grateful.